


Maybe Next Time

by peachgu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 06:43:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15551940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachgu/pseuds/peachgu





	Maybe Next Time

Maybe you were supposed to be his, maybe he was supposed to be yours. But you were battling with something so inevitable, more like he was and you didn’t know. All the moments you’d like to consider one of the happiest moments that ever happened to your life are now just distant memories you’d drive down the memory lane whenever you feel like it, melancholic and sad, maybe when you’re missing him, nostalgic if that’s even appropriate, or when you finally get to move on. It may take a while but you’d like to believe.

Seeing him suffer is never what you wanted. Letting him go isn’t supposed to be that hard, you’d say, but why is it that with the every little thing that reminds you of him, you’d always get close to crying. It’s like every time you look somewhere there’s always this memory that comes with it, flashing through your mind, still so vivid, as if it was just yesterday that it happened. It used to be the world against the both of you, you’d always ask why it turned out like this. The relationship, the foundation was strong, you both made it so there’s no doubt to it.

Jun is not just your boyfriend, he’s also your best friend, the partner in crime, your strength just like you are to him. You both had your future laid out, your goals are set, how you wanted your future house to look like, how many kids you both would like to have, the promises you both made with each other. It was all there, but it vanished just like that. You didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye.

You decided to lie down the hammock that was outside the porch, it is where Jun and you liked to hangout. Watching the stars, talking about how your day was like, the same place you had your first kiss. You can still remember that cheeky grin of his after kissing your lips, it was of a child-like demeanor.

You first met each other while you were visiting a resort to destress. He’s taught you that there’s more to life than there is to a job that doesn’t even pay you right. You laughed at him saying that one can never achieve anything and be happy if he continues to live like that, freely. He then countered that he’d rather live a life free of servitude doing what he actually wants. It was funny to you because it seemed like he knows you never wanted doing your job. You ended up talking to each other all night, after learning that he’ll be leaving the next day, you exchanged numbers and decided to meet up after his next trip, he said he’ll bring you with him the next time, you declined saying maybe next time, but he was persistent, so you agreed thinking that he must have been joking. But he did bring you to the next trip.

“Y/N, I’ll be bringing some of his things to send back.” Jun’s friend, Minghao, asked you while carrying a box of his friend’s belongings. He was displaying a worried look. “Are you sure you don’t want to find a new place? I can help you find a new one. You know it can be hard for you sometimes now that—“

You sit up straight, slightly shake your head, you really appreciate him for worrying and looking out for you, but you knew that in order to fully heal you’ll have to do it on your own. “Thanks Hao, I’ll be fine here. I’ll get used to it soon.” You showed him a sincere smile to reassure him.

He nodded your way before patting your shoulder. With that he headed to the door to leave but he spared you one last look, “Keep in touch, okay?”

You went inside your once shared apartment, it’s really hard knowing that he won’t be here. Everything was new to you, you got used to hearing him watching random baby animal videos he’d enthusiastically show you when you enter the house. It hurts to where it should.

There was an envelope on top of the counter, you quickly went to get it since it must’ve been Minghao’s but to your surprise the envelope read “Letters for Y/N”, and inside it were a bunch of letters labeled differently.

The first one said ‘Maybe next time’. One said ‘For when you miss me’, the others were ‘For when it’s still hard’, ‘When you’re finally moved on’, ‘When you’re feeling happy’, ‘For your future husband (you know this one’s optional, right?)’ There were still more but you decided to open the first one.

_To my dearest Y/N,_

_The first thing that I really want to tell you is that I’m a coward and I lied. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving so early, for not being able to fulfill our promises, for leaving you alone. But I know that you’re strong enough, you’re Y/N, you’re the bravest person I’ve known! I’m sorry for not telling you. I just don’t know how to tell you about my sickness, I must have a reason that I still haven’t found yet, and maybe I’ll never be able to find out. I’m sorry for lying to you, for all the fantasies I selfishly made and bringing you into this. Please don’t think that any of this is your fault, you’ve done nothing but to make me happy._

_The truth is when we first met I was in despair and don’t have much time left. I knew that but I swear I’ve never seen someone so beautiful. It must’ve been my selfishness that overruled me that day. In the first few moments we talked to each other, it was like I was able to see my future with you. The future I saw with you in it was brighter than what it was when you weren’t there. So I grabbed the chance._

_Everyday I’d look at you and think that I must’ve saved the world in my past life to be given a blessing like you. It all went better with you by my side. The despair I always hide with all the impulsive trips I made was lifted. Although it hurts as I was constantly lying to you, having my check-ups, taking my medications without you knowing. You deserve a better life without me in it.  Don’t try to find happiness in a place where you first lost it. Don’t be afraid to make impulsive trips and decisions, you’ll learn to find happiness even in things that weren’t sought for in the first place, just like how I find those cute animals on the internet._

_You know this is the only trip that I’ve been getting myself ready for. None of my trips were planned, you know how I lived like a “flowerboy” vagabond. But this is actually the hardest and painful one, knowing that I’ll be leaving someone behind so precious and won’t be able to get back to you. I think my persistence won’t work this time. But you know that I still look forward to our next trip, it may take a while, maybe next time?_

_I love you Y/N. And I always will._

_From Jun._

Eyes tears-filled, you folded the letter and arranged it again accordingly, along with the others. You smiled a bit, even till the very end he’s still the Jun you always knew.


End file.
